This one has to be dedicated to my partner. I haven’t had the best couple of weeks, to put it lightly. Now I’m not complaining. Everyone can expect some hardships from time to time, that’s life, and I understand that. But that doesn’t mean that I can always function throughout it. Which is why I’m so grateful to my partner, and why this post is dedicated to her.
Throughout my terrible couple of weeks, she has constantly been there to support me and look after me. She has, quite literally, catered to my every whim and made my recovery process so much easier. But more than that, she has given me the moral and emotional support to get me through. When you are struggling, it is easy to feel guilty and ashamed of your ‘weaknesses’ and all the stuff you are missing out on by being incapacitated. But having someone by your side to tell you that it’s okay makes things a hell of a lot easier.
Some of the things that I considered ‘weak’ about myself, she has shown me can be strengths. Just by supporting me, I have found so many new ways to look at things more positively and to find new ways to cope.
Even when I struggled so bad that I was basically suppressing all worry and emotion and brushing it off, numbing my own pain, she was there. She was there when I thought I didn’t deserve it, and she was there when I came round to realise that I did. She knows my problems better than I do, she got me to see that I am my own worst enemy sometimes (okay, a lot of the time), and that she is the person that can protect me from myself.
It’s easy to feel lost, and scared, and hurt, and a whole lot of other negative things, but one positive thing is all you need to fight back. Getting better takes time, but it always feels worth it in the end. It doesn’t at the time admittedly, trying just seems like too much effort for too little reward, but coming through a dark time and seeing everything as it is meant to be again. It’s beautiful. Knowing that you are worth something to the world is priceless.
Suffering can either make you, or break you. And just sometimes, it can do both. And when it does, and you glue those cracks together piece by piece and get back to where you started, you’ll appreciate the journey that you’ve been on.